Found In My Mailbox

I live in a mostly quiet midwestern suburb. Every spring, various enterprising citizens canvas the neighborhood looking to drum up work. We get little flyers from would-be landscapers, maids, handymen, and this year even a mudjacker (that was a new one on me-- I had no idea what it was).

Mostly these go right into the trash, but I got one yesterday that was a little above and beyond the usual. At first it seems merely to be a poorly-written document, and while I am a bit of a grammar Nazi, I know that not everyone is a native speaker of English. A few errors alone wouldn't qualify this for any extra attention, but the third paragraph has a pretty jaw-dropping moment.

I'm sure this person's intentions are good, but I have the feeling her marketing campaign isn't going to get her too many calls...